Those wacky Canadians Are At It Again.

Smitherman’s diaper musings spark outrage

So serious is he about the welfare of seniors, one of Ontario’s most outspoken cabinet ministers said today that he’s prepared to don an adult diaper — and use it — to satisfy himself that elderly residents of the province’s nursing homes are getting appropriate care.

Health Minister George Smitherman sent eyebrows skyward when he made the straight-faced suggestion in response to critics who say the standard of care in Ontario nursing homes is so bad, residents are spending hours on end wallowing in soiled diapers.

Those complaints have prompted him to “seriously consider” taking one of the diapers commonly used in Ontario nursing homes out for a test run.

“I’ve got one of these incontinence products — albeit a new one, not the ones that tend to appear at committee — on my desk and I’m really giving this matter very serious contemplation,” Smitherman told a group of wide-eyed reporters.

“I want to have the right policy for Ontarians.”

The bizarre remarks sparked outrage among opposition parties and lobby groups who advocate for better standards in the province’s long-term care facilities. The minister is making a farce out of serious questions about the dignity afforded seniors in Ontario, they charged.

“Smitherman’s a damned embarrassment,” said NDP critic Peter Kormos, whose leader Howard Hampton made an impassioned plea for seniors during the election campaign last fall.

If this doesn't make you feel better about flying I don't know what will.

Matt Venzke of Yorktown, Va., has won Wynkoop Brewing Company’s 2008 Beerdrinker of the Year contest.

Venke, an aircraft maintenance manager, is the second straight Virginia resident to win the competition. Diane Catanzaro of Norfolk won in 2007.

Venzke beat out finalists J Mark Angelus Oregon and and Richard Pedretti-Allen of Texas.

As the 2008 Beerdrinker of the Year, Venzke wins free beer for life at Wynkoop, a $250 beer tab at the Taphouse on Queensway and clothing proclaiming him the 2008 Beerdrinker of the Year.

If you're wearing pants you may want to remove them NOW!

Hot pants

Polish police are baffled after a cyclist was badly burned when his trousers burst into flames.

Mieczyslaw Jasinski, 55, told doctors he smelt burning and looked down to see his trousers had caught fire.

He jumped off his bike and rolled on the ground trying to douse the flames but suffered second degree burns to his legs, back and stomach.

Passers-by spotted him lying at the side of the road in Koroszczyn, still smoking from the tattered remains of his trousers and groaning in pain.

A police spokesman said: "Witnesses said he was like a flaming human torch cycling along the road.

"We do not know how it happened but we have heard that it could have been caused by a reaction between friction as he cycled, sweat and the material of his trousers."

An Eyeball Tatoo, I Kid You Not.

Those wacky Canadians are at it again!

What is thought to be the first ever "eyeball tattoo" has been inflicted on a man in Toronto - good news, perhaps, for anyone who ever dreamed of having blue eyes.

The tattooer injected ink into the eyeball of volunteer Pauly Unstoppable using a needle, until his eye was completely blue. Just in case you weren't yet feeling squeamish enough, bear in mind that it took more than 40 tries before the eye was filled with ink.

The blue substance used was mixed with antibiotic eyewash. The experiment was carried out for Canadian company ModProm, with those taking part insisting that Pauly would not go blind. Pauly himself declared: "I really have to emphasize again that the procedure was extensively researched and done by people who were aware of the risks and possible complications and that it should not be casually attempted.

More importantly— Who ever heard of a ham-and-cheese sandwich using one slice of bread?

A commercial, pre-packaged ham-and-cheese sandwich using one slice of bread is regulated by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, which conducts daily inspections under its jurisdiction, but a ham-and-cheese sandwich on two slices of bread falls to the Food and Drug Administration, which inspects plants about once every five years. That anomaly surfaced in the current presidential campaign and was verified by a Congressional Quarterly-St. Petersburg Times "Politifact" researcher in December.

A USDA official admitted to the Times that there "is no rationale or logic" behind the distinction: "(I)t's an issue that makes it look like we don't know what we're doing." [St. Petersburg Times, 12-11-07]

The Holy Grail Of Beers!

It's the "holy grail" of beers, said a Boston pub manager, but, still, only 60,000 cases a year of Westvleteren are brewed because the Belgian Trappist monks with the centuries-old recipe refuse to expand their business (and even get on the phone to harass black-marketers). Westvleteren is sold only at the monastery gate, by appointment, with a two-case-a-month limit, at a price that's reasonable for retail beer, but anyone who gets it from a re-seller will pay 10 times that much. Producing more, said Brother Joris, to a Wall Street Journal reporter in November, "would interfere with our job of being a monk." Furthermore, said Brother Joris, referencing the Bible, "(I)f you can't have it, possibly you do not really need it."

Killer fish terrifies Britain

A SAVAGE fish that eats everything it comes across, including people, has been hooked by a British fisherman — sparking fears of a deadly invasion.

The giant snakehead, originating from South-East Asia, has a mouth crammed with teeth.

It’s deadly in the water, but it can also “crawl” on land and survive out of water for up to four days. The discovery of the fish in Linconshire, northern England, has caused widespread panic amongst conservationists and anglers. An Environment Agency source told the Sun: “The reaction was, ‘Oh s***’. This is the ultimate invasive species - if it starts breeding here it’s a disaster.”

Andy Alder caught the snakehead in the River Witham while using a sprat as bait for pike. He told the Sun: “It had a gob full of razor-sharp teeth. To be honest it looked terrifying.” It is believed the fish may have been smuggled in for an aquarium and illegally released.