Those wacky Canadians Are At It Again.

Smitherman’s diaper musings spark outrage

So serious is he about the welfare of seniors, one of Ontario’s most outspoken cabinet ministers said today that he’s prepared to don an adult diaper — and use it — to satisfy himself that elderly residents of the province’s nursing homes are getting appropriate care.

Health Minister George Smitherman sent eyebrows skyward when he made the straight-faced suggestion in response to critics who say the standard of care in Ontario nursing homes is so bad, residents are spending hours on end wallowing in soiled diapers.

Those complaints have prompted him to “seriously consider” taking one of the diapers commonly used in Ontario nursing homes out for a test run.

“I’ve got one of these incontinence products — albeit a new one, not the ones that tend to appear at committee — on my desk and I’m really giving this matter very serious contemplation,” Smitherman told a group of wide-eyed reporters.

“I want to have the right policy for Ontarians.”

The bizarre remarks sparked outrage among opposition parties and lobby groups who advocate for better standards in the province’s long-term care facilities. The minister is making a farce out of serious questions about the dignity afforded seniors in Ontario, they charged.

“Smitherman’s a damned embarrassment,” said NDP critic Peter Kormos, whose leader Howard Hampton made an impassioned plea for seniors during the election campaign last fall.

If this doesn't make you feel better about flying I don't know what will.

Matt Venzke of Yorktown, Va., has won Wynkoop Brewing Company’s 2008 Beerdrinker of the Year contest.

Venke, an aircraft maintenance manager, is the second straight Virginia resident to win the competition. Diane Catanzaro of Norfolk won in 2007.

Venzke beat out finalists J Mark Angelus Oregon and and Richard Pedretti-Allen of Texas.

As the 2008 Beerdrinker of the Year, Venzke wins free beer for life at Wynkoop, a $250 beer tab at the Taphouse on Queensway and clothing proclaiming him the 2008 Beerdrinker of the Year.

If you're wearing pants you may want to remove them NOW!

Hot pants

Polish police are baffled after a cyclist was badly burned when his trousers burst into flames.

Mieczyslaw Jasinski, 55, told doctors he smelt burning and looked down to see his trousers had caught fire.

He jumped off his bike and rolled on the ground trying to douse the flames but suffered second degree burns to his legs, back and stomach.

Passers-by spotted him lying at the side of the road in Koroszczyn, still smoking from the tattered remains of his trousers and groaning in pain.

A police spokesman said: "Witnesses said he was like a flaming human torch cycling along the road.

"We do not know how it happened but we have heard that it could have been caused by a reaction between friction as he cycled, sweat and the material of his trousers."

An Eyeball Tatoo, I Kid You Not.

Those wacky Canadians are at it again!

What is thought to be the first ever "eyeball tattoo" has been inflicted on a man in Toronto - good news, perhaps, for anyone who ever dreamed of having blue eyes.

The tattooer injected ink into the eyeball of volunteer Pauly Unstoppable using a needle, until his eye was completely blue. Just in case you weren't yet feeling squeamish enough, bear in mind that it took more than 40 tries before the eye was filled with ink.

The blue substance used was mixed with antibiotic eyewash. The experiment was carried out for Canadian company ModProm, with those taking part insisting that Pauly would not go blind. Pauly himself declared: "I really have to emphasize again that the procedure was extensively researched and done by people who were aware of the risks and possible complications and that it should not be casually attempted.

More importantly— Who ever heard of a ham-and-cheese sandwich using one slice of bread?

A commercial, pre-packaged ham-and-cheese sandwich using one slice of bread is regulated by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, which conducts daily inspections under its jurisdiction, but a ham-and-cheese sandwich on two slices of bread falls to the Food and Drug Administration, which inspects plants about once every five years. That anomaly surfaced in the current presidential campaign and was verified by a Congressional Quarterly-St. Petersburg Times "Politifact" researcher in December.

A USDA official admitted to the Times that there "is no rationale or logic" behind the distinction: "(I)t's an issue that makes it look like we don't know what we're doing." [St. Petersburg Times, 12-11-07]

The Holy Grail Of Beers!

It's the "holy grail" of beers, said a Boston pub manager, but, still, only 60,000 cases a year of Westvleteren are brewed because the Belgian Trappist monks with the centuries-old recipe refuse to expand their business (and even get on the phone to harass black-marketers). Westvleteren is sold only at the monastery gate, by appointment, with a two-case-a-month limit, at a price that's reasonable for retail beer, but anyone who gets it from a re-seller will pay 10 times that much. Producing more, said Brother Joris, to a Wall Street Journal reporter in November, "would interfere with our job of being a monk." Furthermore, said Brother Joris, referencing the Bible, "(I)f you can't have it, possibly you do not really need it."

Killer fish terrifies Britain

A SAVAGE fish that eats everything it comes across, including people, has been hooked by a British fisherman — sparking fears of a deadly invasion.

The giant snakehead, originating from South-East Asia, has a mouth crammed with teeth.

It’s deadly in the water, but it can also “crawl” on land and survive out of water for up to four days. The discovery of the fish in Linconshire, northern England, has caused widespread panic amongst conservationists and anglers. An Environment Agency source told the Sun: “The reaction was, ‘Oh s***’. This is the ultimate invasive species - if it starts breeding here it’s a disaster.”

Andy Alder caught the snakehead in the River Witham while using a sprat as bait for pike. He told the Sun: “It had a gob full of razor-sharp teeth. To be honest it looked terrifying.” It is believed the fish may have been smuggled in for an aquarium and illegally released.

Our nipple related story of the day!

Tokyo marathon runner solves mystery of sore nipples

Choking pollution and sapping heat will be the major concerns for the world's elite marathon runners at this year's Beijing Olympics.

But for millions of other marathon men and women, concerns are of an altogether more painful nature. After his first assault at a marathon last year banker Brian Jones was shocked to discover the sharp pain in his chest was not cardiovascular, but bleeding nipples.

"When I took my shirt off at the end it was white -- apart from two particular parts of it," he told Reuters in an interview after completing his second Tokyo Marathon at the weekend.

"It looked like I had been shot by a sniper. This year I bought some Vaseline. It worked, although I had nasty chafing elsewhere."

Such dark thoughts are unlikely to have troubled Sunday's winner, Switzerland's Viktor Roethlin, who powered to victory in two hours, seven minutes and 23 seconds.

But for around 30,000 fun runners who took part in Tokyo, issues such as chafing can trigger deep despair.

I dare you to read this and not get hungry!

The Best Sandwiches in America

Unranked, unimpeachable, and incomplete, Esquire’s coast-to-coast list of the finest meals on sliced bread. No burgers allowed.

Click here for the entire mouth watering story.

Man's Best Friend Will Kick Your Ass!

Fighter teaches dog to kick-box

Russian terriers are popular guard dogs in some countries

Meet Ringo Tsar - a dog who can pack a knock-out punch with his paws.

Owner Russ Williams has trained the 15-month-old black Russian terrier in the art of kick-boxing.

Mr Williams, from Caerwys in north Wales, is a former world champion in the martial art.

"If there was a British Thai boxing championship for dogs then Ringo would win paws-down every time," he said. "There are a few humans he could beat as well."

Mr Williams, who runs a gym and a security firm, said he came up with the idea after seeing Ringo play-fighting with another dog.

"All his strength seems to be in his legs," he explained. "I just thought about how I could develop that.

Russian terriers can weigh up to 85lb

"I have only been training him for three weeks but he has picked it up really quickly and is incredibly strong.

"He can jump and kick to command with his two front feet at a punch bag or kick pad.

"It seems much better to teach a guard dog to do this than to bite."

Russian black terriers, also known as Russkiy Tchiorny terriers, were specially bred in the former USSR and originally used by the authorities for riot control.

The ugly truth behind Internet emoticons

Momspit, inspired by the original?

Remember when you were little and your mom would lick a napkin or paper towel and wipe dirt or food off of your face. Well wouldn't you know it some enterprising young folks have bottled it, Momspit. I kid you not! Click here to order yours today.

AirPoo The Rolls Royce Of Toilet Bowls

Your morning glory will never be the same after you've tried AirPoo. Heated seat, iPod docking station, surround sound just to name a few of the benefits.

Click here for the product demo www.airpoo.com

Hillary Clinton Meets The Jackson 5, Meets the Partridge Family!

One of the most pathetic campaign song I have ever heard. It's like Up With People meets the Jackson 5 meets the Partridge Family. Caution: Watch the video on an empty stomach.

I JUST CALLED TO SAY I LOVE MOOO

There may be Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover, as the song goes - but even Paul Simon probably didn't think of calling her a cow.

As romantic gestures go, naming a farmyard animal after the woman you love (or would like to love) appears to lack a little subtlety.

Yet that is the 'lifeline' offered by Langage Farm to those forgetful blokes who have forgotten Valentine's Day today.All you have to do is email the farm's commercial manager Richard Scutt - at richard@langagefarm.com - with your sob story about why you're desperate for a spectacular gesture. The first ten names chosen will get £20 to spend in the farm shop - and a cow named after their loved one.

History of humanity in one image

Click of the image for the full size version.

Just when you thought the houseing market couldn't get any worse!

House-Hunting Horror: Body Found During Open House

An estate agent is recovering from shock after he showed a group of househunters around a house — and found a dead body inside a closet.

The prospective buyers were browsing around the four-bedroom home during an open viewing while the owner's corpse was hanging in the master bedroom. And discovering the body, they fled, with the shocked agent immediately locking the doors of the property in Quorn, Leicestershire, behind him and dialling for help.

The 48-year-old owner had put the detached house on the market for $670,292 after his elderly mother died. He reportedly told neighbors he was devastated by her death and the house held too many memories. Gary Hartley, who owns agents Hartley Estates, praised his colleague for the way he handled the situation.

He told Sky News Online: "One of my colleagues was conducting a tour of the property and unfortunately the body was found in a bedroom. "My colleague was terrific, he calmly ushered people out and locked the door. "He wasn't to know exactly what had gone on and informed the family and the authorities, and went home shaking."

Hartley said he did not know how many people were there, but said it was an open viewing and there was more than one party. He added: "It's a very desirable area and there's always been a lot of interest hence there were a number of viewers. "The buyers were shocked as well. But we exposed as few people as possible to the body."

He said: "Our sympathies go to the family and praise to my colleague for the way he handled the situation. "We have had people who were there for the viewing phoning up to praise the way he conducted himself." Police said the death is not being treated as suspicious and an inquest will be held at a later date.

High heels 'improve sex life'

Wearing higher heels may improve women's sex life, according to an Italian doctor.

Dr Maria Cerruto says 2ins high heels can help improve pelvic floor muscles, reports the BBC. Dr Cerruto, a urologist and self-professed lover of high heels, set out to prove they were not as bad for women's health as some suggest.

Her study of 66 women under 50 found those who held their foot at a 15 degree angle to the ground - the equivalent of a two inch heel - had as good posture as those who wore flat shoes. And, crucially, they showed less electrical activity in their pelvic muscles suggesting they were at an optimum position, which could improve their strength and ability to contract. Pelvic floor muscles assist sexual performance and satisfaction, and also provide vital support to the pelvic organs, which include the bladder, bowels and uterus. But they often weaken after pregnancy and childbirth, and as women get older.

Dr Cerruto said: "Women often have difficulty in carrying out the right exercises for the pelvic zone and wearing heels could be the solution. "Like many women, I like high-heeled shoes," she added. "It's good to know they have potential health benefits."

NASA Beams Beatles Into Space!

FIRST-EVER TRANSMISSION OF MUSIC TO FAR END OF GALAXY Across The Universe Goes Across The Universe!

Public Invited To Join In And Create 'Harmonic Convergence'

The US space agency NASA undertakes an historic mission on Monday, February 4th -- when it will beam music into deep space for the first time ever. Though it has become commonplace to transmit music to manned spacecraft over the past 40 years as wake-up songs for astronauts -- this will be the first time that a pure blast of music has been targeted to go further than an orbiting spacecraft. This transmission is targeted at Polaris ("The North Star"), which is situated 2.5 quadrillion miles away. (A quadrillion is one thousand million million! So 2,500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 miles away!) The song will take 431 years to reach Polaris -- arriving in the year 2,439 AD.

The song selected for this mission "to boldly go where no music has gone before ... " is the classic Beatles peace anthem "Across The Universe."