Life As We Know It.

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20 year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back, that makes 80, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

And that my friend is life as we know it.

Man named God arrested for selling cocaine near Tampa church

Associated Press
7:25 AM EDT, June 23, 2008

TAMPA - Police say a man named God was arrested near a Tampa church for selling cocaine.

Authorities began investigating God Lucky Howard in April, and he was arrested on Saturday. Police say he sold the cocaine to undercover detectives in his neighborhood. When officers searched his home, they reported finding another 22 grams of cocaine and a scale.

Jail records show Howard was charged with several counts drug possession and distribution, which include increased charges for being within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing.

He was being held on a bond of $86,500.

Christians Approve Of Internet Dating

Many Christians believe that it is acceptable to meet and date people online, according to a recent survey.

God can bring people together using internet dating sites was the general consensus from the survey, which was carried out by the popular Christian portal ChristiaNet.com. Of the 314 people surveyed, 157 answered a positive yes to the question of whether Christians should date on the internet. And 98 readers were unsure about meeting someone on the Internet. Bill Cooper, president of ChristiaNet, said: "Christian singles should choose a Christian site for meeting other believers."

An unnamed contributor to the site said that she and her husband met online and have been happily married for seven years. However, another contributor wrote: "No, absolutely not!" "There is no safe way to really know who you are hooking up with on the Internet."

There is still no word on if Buddhists, Muslims, Baptists and Jews can use the Internet. I'll keep ya posted.