Those wacky Canadians Are At It Again.

Smitherman’s diaper musings spark outrage

So serious is he about the welfare of seniors, one of Ontario’s most outspoken cabinet ministers said today that he’s prepared to don an adult diaper — and use it — to satisfy himself that elderly residents of the province’s nursing homes are getting appropriate care.

Health Minister George Smitherman sent eyebrows skyward when he made the straight-faced suggestion in response to critics who say the standard of care in Ontario nursing homes is so bad, residents are spending hours on end wallowing in soiled diapers.

Those complaints have prompted him to “seriously consider” taking one of the diapers commonly used in Ontario nursing homes out for a test run.

“I’ve got one of these incontinence products — albeit a new one, not the ones that tend to appear at committee — on my desk and I’m really giving this matter very serious contemplation,” Smitherman told a group of wide-eyed reporters.

“I want to have the right policy for Ontarians.”

The bizarre remarks sparked outrage among opposition parties and lobby groups who advocate for better standards in the province’s long-term care facilities. The minister is making a farce out of serious questions about the dignity afforded seniors in Ontario, they charged.

“Smitherman’s a damned embarrassment,” said NDP critic Peter Kormos, whose leader Howard Hampton made an impassioned plea for seniors during the election campaign last fall.

Bad Dog!

Bird Brain Dies After Years of Research

Alex, a parrot that could count to six, identify colors and even express frustration with repetitive scientific trials, has died after 30 years of helping researchers better understand the avian brain.

The cause of Alex's death was unknown. The African grey parrot's average life span is 50 years, Brandeis University scientist Irene Pepperberg said. Alex was discovered dead in his cage Friday, she said, but she waited to release the news until this week so grieving researchers could get over the shock and talk about it. "It's devastating to lose an individual you've worked with pretty much every day for 30 years," Pepperberg told The Boston Globe. "Someone was working with him eight to 12 hours every day of his life."

Alex's advanced language and recognition skills revolutionized the understanding of the avian brain. After Pepperberg bought Alex from an animal shop in 1973, the parrot learned enough English to identify 50 objects, seven colors and five shapes. He could count up to six, including zero, was able to express desires, including his frustration with the repetitive research. He also occasionally instructed two other parrots at the lab to "talk better" if they mumbled, though it wasn't clear whether he was simply mimicking researchers. Alex hadn't reached his full cognitive potential and was demonstrating the ability to take distinct sounds from words he knew and combine them to form new words, Pepperberg said. Just last month, he pronounced the word "seven" for the first time.

The last time Pepperberg saw Alex was Thursday, she said. They went through their back-and-forth goodnight routine, which always varied slightly and in which she told him it was time to go in the cage. She recalls the bird said: "You be good. I love you." She responded, "I love you, too." The bird said, "You'll be in tomorrow," and she responded, "Yes, I'll be in tomorrow."

Houdini Lives, Said to be Alive and Well, in Miami Beach

Magician contends famed escape artist appeared 40 years after his death.

What if, Harry Houdini, world famous magician and escape artist, did not die on October 31, 1926, but faked his own death, reappearing forty years later in 1966.

Houdini always said he'd be back. Could it be he was planning a major comeback on the Jackie Gleason television show on Halloween night 40 years after his burial? This theory is presented as Houdini Lives! a novel by Al Blanchard & Adam Steinfeld, available online including at http://www.HoudiniLives.com.

"I posed my theory to mystery novelist Al Blanchard in April, 2002 in Aruba, where I presented my grand illusions magic show, Adam Steinfeld MagicLive! at a local beach casino," Steinfeld says. The act ended with the famous Houdini Water Torture tank. He would escape from 200 lbs of freezing cold water while locked in chains and steel
shackles.

"Blanchard handed me his business card. 'Send me more on the story,' he said. So began our two years of collaboration on Houdini Lives! a novel. Wherever I was performing in the world, we would exchange story drafts by e-mail," says Steinfeld. Al Blanchard is also author of the Steve Asher Mystery Series, the James Callahan Mysteries & a Collection of short stories called 'The Stalker and Other Tales of Love & Murder'.

The story, which is fiction based on fact, is a murder mystery, and combines humor and political drama, with a touch of romance. Houdini has been in hiding from his political enemies and is planning a dramatic comeback. Who are these enemies from the 1920's, and why are they still trying to kill him? No autopsy was performed. He was buried within a few days. His wife Beatrice, was poisoned, a week earlier before his death, but survived.

"I'm convinced a mysterious old rabbi with an old black robe, who showed me my first magic trick in Miami Beach was the legendary escape artist," Steinfeld says.

Look Mom No Hands!

Creative Viagra Advertising
With a product like Viagra the options for some really creative advertising seem limitless. Here is a great example of exactly what I'm talking about. The fact that the magician is some old dude makes it that much better.

More Proof That Cheetos and Meth Don't Mix

Cheesy attack leads to assault charges

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) -- A man has been charged with a cheesy snack attack on his dad, police said. The weapon? A bag of Cheetos. Patrick Hamman, 22, of Des Moines, was arrested on a charge of domestic assault after he threw a bag of Cheetos at his father, Michael Hamman, hitting him in the face Sunday night.

The bag hit his father's glasses, causing a cut to the bridge of his nose, police said. The police report said "Michael's T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust."Police said Patrick, who lives with his father, admitted that he was on methamphetamine at the time of the argument.

Spelling mistake leads to French town

A trio of Norwegian tourists intent on holidaying in Greece ended up in a small French town due to a spelling mistake when they booked the trip on the Internet.

The tourists, reportedly called Knut, Bente and Marit, were trying to make it to the sunny holiday destination of Rhodes. However they ended up in the remote medieval French town of Rodez, in the mountainous Aveyron region.

Florence Taillefer, head of the Rodez tourism office, told Reuters: "We were told of the mistake when the three tourists arrived at the airport and we tried to make their stay as agreeable as possible before they decided to return to Norway." Rodez is mostly known for its 80-metre tall 13th century cathedral and medieval town square.

An average of ten tourists per year show up at the town having mistaken it for the Greek island of Rhodes. Rhodes, situated in the Aegean Sea, is known for its beautiful white beaches and temperate climate.

National Lampoon Launches Video Channel On Yahoo

National Lampoon, the most widely recognized brand in comedy, announced today that it has launched a National Lampoon video channel on Yahoo Video, http://video.yahoo.com.

"The new National Lampoon channel on Yahoo Video is another step in our progress towards building out the National Lampoon Video Network," said Daniel Laikin, National Lampoon's Chief Executive Officer. "Our relationship with Yahoo Video provides another destination for our fans worldwide to view our original comedy content and interact with our programming."

All of National Lampoon’s new programming will be made available on Yahoo Video through the National Lampoon channel available here at http://video.yahoo.com/video/group?gid=1146026. Initial programming includes National Lampoon’s hugely popular webisodes, which have drawn praise from top critics nationwide, as well as National Lampoon’s SpinCycle mashimations and the Fat Guy Nation series.

UM Moving To Dolphin Stadium

And it's about time. Don't get me wrong 25 years ago I had season tickets in the Orange Bowl and it was a horrible armpit of a place to watch a game back then. My wife and I attended a UM game 2 years ago and things had not changed. No place to park, inadequate restrooms. Seats with poor views of the field. We left at halftime. Click here for the full story.